The Seat I Almost Didn’t Take

I didn’t plan to think about belonging when I walked into the university auditorium that afternoon. I came for the science—notes in my backpack, coffee on my breath, the familiar comfort of equations that never cared who solved them. But the room felt different before anyone spoke. The lights were soft, the stage bright, and the audience—a scattered mosaic of accents, hairstyles, and hesitant smiles—held the quiet tension of people hoping not to be noticed and still wanting to be seen.

A poster near the entrance announced a plenary session I later read about through NWO Insight Out 2026: “Empowering women+ in STEM.” I remember pausing at the title, as if it were a door with a sign that asked, Are you sure you belong here?

Learning to Read the Room

I grew up in a household where “STEM” wasn’t a passion project—it was a survival plan. My parents’ advice was simple: work harder, speak less, prove more. In my first semester, I treated every classroom like a test I had to pass socially as well as academically. I sat near the back. I asked fewer questions. When group projects formed, I smiled quickly and waited for someone else to assign roles, hoping I wouldn’t be the “diversity pick” or the “quiet one.”

Even while pursuing engineering, I watched certain students move through space with effortless ownership. They made jokes with professors, debated loudly, corrected each other without apologizing. I admired them—and quietly resented how natural it looked. I told myself confidence was personality, not privilege.

The Problem No One Writes on the Syllabus

The plenary’s central question—what a diverse and inclusive university might actually look like in practice—hit me like a sudden draft in a closed room. The talk wasn’t framed as charity or optics. It was about systems: who gets mentored, whose mistakes are considered “potential,” who is assumed competent before speaking a word. It named what I’d felt but struggled to articulate: bias doesn’t always announce itself. Sometimes it’s a silence after you speak. Sometimes it’s the lowered expectations disguised as kindness.

I thought of my friend in data science who stopped raising her hand because every contribution turned into a debate on whether she “really coded it herself.” I thought of an international student in environmental engineering who had brilliant solutions but hesitated to share them, worried his accent would invite impatience before his idea had a chance.

Small Moments That Shifted Something

After the session, I didn’t walk out with a grand plan. I walked out with a sharper lens.

In my next lab, when a teammate automatically handed me the note-taking, I said, calmly, “I’d rather run the simulation. I can take notes after.” My voice shook, but the request landed. No explosion—just a tiny rebalancing.

Later, I went to office hours and asked a question I’d been saving for “when I was ready.” The professor didn’t seem surprised that I asked; I realized the only person policing my readiness had been me. I began seeking mentors intentionally—especially women and immigrant researchers who had navigated the same invisible currents. Their advice wasn’t mystical. It was practical: document your work, build allies, ask to be considered, and don’t confuse discomfort with failure.

What Inclusion Started to Mean to Me

The most important thing I learned is that inclusion isn’t a slogan—it’s a design choice. A diverse university is not one that simply invites different bodies into the room; it’s one that changes the room so those bodies can breathe. When NWO’s plenary asked what inclusive academia looks like, I heard an invitation to imagine structures where talent isn’t drained by constant self-defense.

I still get nervous. I still over-prepare. But now, when I enter a classroom, I take a seat near the front—not because I’m fearless, but because I’m tired of shrinking. Science, at its best, is the pursuit of truth. I want my education to reflect that same honesty: that brilliance is everywhere, and belonging should be too.

Source Link

• NWO – NWO Insight Out 2026: Empowering women+ in STEM: https://www.nwo.nl/en/news/nwo-insight-out-2026-empowering-women-in-stem