The Day I Stopped Treating STEM Like a Locked Door

On the first Monday of my senior year, I sat in the back row of AP Computer Science with my notebook open and my confidence folded neatly out of sight. The room smelled faintly like whiteboard cleaner and overheated laptops. Around me, conversations bounced between summer coding camps and robotics competitions—names of programs I’d never heard of, opportunities I didn’t know how to access. I told myself I was “behind,” as if STEM were a train that only left once.

I had always liked solving puzzles. But liking something is not the same as believing you belong in it.

A Map I Didn’t Know Existed

After class, I wandered into the library to print an assignment. A flyer caught my eye—girls in safety goggles, hands hovering over a circuit board like they were about to wake it up. The headline wasn’t loud, but it was certain: STEM is for you, too.

That afternoon I fell down a rabbit hole of articles and organizations, and that’s where I found the National Girls Collaborative Project (NGCP). What struck me first wasn’t a fancy slogan; it was the simple, practical way NGCP described its purpose: to connect girl-serving STEM programs with schools, professionals, community organizations, and each other—to build a community where knowledge circulates instead of bottling up in the same few places. It felt like discovering a map in a maze I’d assumed I had to navigate alone.

The Quiet Conflict No One Graded

My challenge wasn’t one dramatic moment; it was an accumulation of small messages. In group work, I became the note-taker without deciding to. When someone asked a question I did know, I waited an extra beat—long enough for someone else to answer—because I didn’t want to be wrong in public. I told myself it was humility, but it was fear in academic clothing.

What made it worse was how invisible the problem felt. There wasn’t a rubric category for “belonging.” No teacher could assign points for “not shrinking.”

Reading NGCP’s work put words to what I’d been experiencing: power structures, stereotypes, and social expectations can quietly fence people out of tech, even when the door looks open. NGCP’s emphasis on equity—expanding their focus to include underrepresented girls, including Black, Latinx, and Native American girls—made me realize that “not seeing yourself” in STEM isn’t a personal flaw. It’s often a predictable outcome of who gets centered.

Small Acts of Courage, Collected

I started acting like I belonged before I fully believed it. I asked my teacher if I could attend an online cybersecurity talk. I volunteered at a middle-school STEM night and watched a sixth-grade girl’s face light up when her LED blinked for the first time—like she’d just learned she could speak a new language. I tried a mini unit on digital forensics, amazed that a discipline could feel like both detective work and math.

NGCP’s involvement in fields like cybersecurity and digital forensics mattered to me because it proved this wasn’t just about “getting girls interested” in science in the abstract. It was about pathways—real careers shaping real systems. And it was about collaboration: NGCP’s evaluations found they increased knowledge of programs and resources and improved how programs serve girls by supporting exemplary practices. In other words, they don’t just inspire; they build infrastructure.

The more I learned, the more I noticed how innovation depends on who’s in the room. Diverse teams don’t magically eliminate bias, but they do widen the lens. They bring more questions, more lived experiences, and more ways to test whether a solution serves everyone.

What Changed in Me

The biggest shift wasn’t technical—it was internal. I stopped thinking of my presence in STEM as a request for permission. I began to see it as participation in a larger effort to make tech and engineering more representative, more creative, and more just.

When I imagine my future now, I don’t picture myself alone at a desk trying to outsmart doubt. I picture networks—mentors, peers, younger students—passing along knowledge like a relay instead of a gate.

Walking Through the Door

I still get nervous before presenting code. I still sometimes feel like an imposter. But now I recognize that feeling as a weather pattern, not a prophecy. The difference is that I’m no longer waiting for confidence to arrive before I move.

I’m applying to college to study computing with a focus on cybersecurity—not because I’m certain I’ll always feel brave, but because I’ve learned bravery can be built collaboratively. NGCP helped me see that STEM doesn’t have to be a locked door. Sometimes it’s a door that opens when enough people decide to hold it.

Reference

National Girls Collaborative Project featured in ISA Blog: “Spotlight on STEM Diversity and Inclusion Work: The National Girls Collaborative Project”
https://blog.isa.org/spotlight-on-stem-diversity-and-inclusion-work-the-national-girls-collaborative-project